34 Things I’ve Learned Before Turning 34

Here's what 34 trips around the sun has taught me about life

As I approach my 34th birthday on September 3rd, I’ve been doing what many of us do at the brink of another year—reflecting.

Life, as usual, has been a mix of joy and sorrow, wisdom and folly, triumphs and setbacks. And it brought some valuable lessons along my way. That’s what our soul is here for after all—to learn some profound lessons in this ‘Earth School.’

Now I know this newsletter format is not my unique idea but I love reading these wonderful ‘birthday listicles’ from other writers so I took inspiration and decided to shed my usual format for this.

Here it goes:

1. It’s okay to not have everything figured out

I used to think that by 30, I’d have my life all mapped out. But life, as it turns out, isn’t a neat little road trip with clear signposts. It’s more like a winding river, full of unexpected bends. Even at present, when I consider myself more spiritually inclined, I still have a lot of questions that I seek answers to, but I have also learned to make peace with not knowing or understanding everything.

2. Losing someone precious is hard, but you’ll survive

They say the lightest coffins feel the heaviest and I realized this when I lost my first child, 9 days after she was born. I remember thinking that I could never recover from this or be happy again. The weight of grief was like a boulder on my chest. But as time went on, that boulder got a little lighter, and eventually, I found the strength to carry it without getting weighed down. I learned to be happy and to accept my grief, feel it when I feel it without letting it overpower my life.

3. We don’t always get (or need) what we want

My lifelong dream was to become a fashion designer and when I finally became one, I hated it. Quitting the ultimate goal of my life (or so I thought) wasn’t easy but eventually, I realized how that experience redirected me to something far better than I could have imagined—like the universe knew what I needed before I did.

4. I don’t know anything

It doesn’t matter how many books I read or spiritual videos I scroll through, the knowledge I gather is like a spec of dust compared to the depth of our infinite existence. The moment I accepted that I knew nothing, my ego started fading away and made space for growth to happen.

5. Your childhood traumas don’t define you

For a long time, I have turned some of my traumas into my whole personality until I learned to let go of it. I learned to detach from these experiences that do nothing but hinder my personal growth. The scars of the past can feel like tattoos, permanent and inescapable. But I’ve realized that those scars don’t have to define my story. We all have the power to rewrite our narratives.

6. Finding an ultimate purpose is overrated

When I was younger, I thought I’d change the world. I was on a constant quest to discover my big-ass purpose that would add some meaning to my life. As I grew up, I realized, that living this life and experiencing it with everything it offers is the ultimate purpose. And if you get to leave a positive impact on others along the way—that’s a bonus.

7. The answer is within you

I spent years searching for answers in books, other people, and places far from home only to realize that the answers were within me all along, waiting to be discovered. Spending time in self-reflection and meditation has been a game-changer.

8. Being true to yourself allows you to live better

There’s a liberating power in being unapologetically you. The more I’ve let my true self shine—quirks and all—the more fulfilling life has become. Authenticity is like a magnet; it attracts the right people and opportunities.

9. Let go of the urge to control

I used to think that if I could just control every detail of my life, everything would be perfect. But life is like a wild garden that thrives when you let it grow on its own terms. Letting go has brought me peace and opened doors I didn’t know existed. Sometimes, you need to sit back and relax to smoothly navigate the ebb and flow of life.

10. Forgive everyone who hurt you, and yourself

Holding onto anger is like clutching a hot coal, hoping the other person gets burned. I too have been guilty of holding that hot coal for some people in my life, for too long. I eventually realized that forgiveness isn’t about them—it’s about freeing yourself from the weight of the past, the negative emotions that hold you back. Most importantly, I learned to forgive myself for the mistakes of my past.

11. Most social media is useless

Scrolling through social media often feels like wading through a sea of noise. I have been addicted to mindless scrolling in the past but not anymore. I’ve learned to disconnect from the virtual chatter and focus on real, meaningful connections.

12. You find what you seek (or need)

The universe has an uncanny way of delivering what you need when you need it, often in the most unexpected forms. Staying open to life’s surprises has led me to some of the most amazing experiences.

13. It’s okay to ask for help

In a world where we’re constantly told to be strong and independent, it’s seen as a sign of weakness to be sensitive and vulnerable. This conditioning made it difficult for me to express certain emotions or ask for help when I needed it. Thankfully, I have grown out of this mindset and realized that it takes courage to be vulnerable. Our emotions are a source of power, not weakness.

14. Everything is energy

I’ve come to understand that everything in life, from our thoughts to our actions, is a form of energy. What we put out into the world, we receive in return. Knowing this fact has allowed me to be more conscious of my thoughts, actions, and the words I speak.

15. You define what success is for you

Success isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula. It isn’t always about a six-figure salary or a top position in a company. It’s more about living a peaceful, happy, and fulfilling life regardless of your financial status. I’ve learned to set my own benchmarks and celebrate the wins that matter to me.

16. Compassion begins with self

I used to think compassion was solely about being kind to others, but I’ve come to understand that it starts with being kind to myself. When I show myself compassion, I’m better equipped to extend it to others. You have to heal yourself first before healing others.

17. Being spiritual doesn’t mean you have to be poor

It’s a myth that you have to give up materialism completely to follow the spiritual path. To be spiritual and mindful is to be abundant, in everything—and experience every aspect of life to its fullest. I still pursue my financial goals, but without being obsessed about it.

18. Exercising is hard but necessary

Till a few years back, exercise used to feel like a chore, but now I see it as an act of self-care. It’s not just about staying fit; it’s about keeping my mind and body in harmony. You can’t enjoy life without good health and a fit body to back you up.

19. Your gut knows it better than you do

Over the years, I’ve learned to trust my intuition as my inner guide. It’s that quiet voice that knows the truth before my mind catches up. By listening to my intuition, I’ve made decisions that align with my true self, leading me on a path that feels right, even when it’s not the easiest one.

20. Nothing is a coincidence

The people you meet, the experiences you have—they all have a purpose, even if it’s not immediately clear. I’ve learned to trust the timing of life and believe that everything happens for a reason.

21. No one is liable to make you happy

For a long time, I let my happiness depend on others—on relationships, on external validation. Eventually, I found happiness within me, in the way I chose to see the world and situations in my life. It’s my responsibility to create my own joy.

22. Not everyone will like you, and it’s okay

It’s easy to get caught up in what others think of you, but I’ve learned that not everyone will like you—and that’s perfectly fine. What matters is being true to yourself and surrounding yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are.

23. Life is not meant to be taken seriously

Life is full of absurdities, and sometimes the best way to deal with them is to laugh. I’ve learned to find humor in the chaos, to laugh at myself, and to not take everything so seriously. It lightens the load and makes the journey much more enjoyable.

24. We’re spiritual beings on a journey

My spiritual awakening has shown me that we’re more than just our physical bodies. We’re spiritual beings navigating a human experience, and embracing this truth has brought a deeper sense of purpose and peace to my life.

25. The grass is not greener on the other side

It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison, thinking that someone else’s life is better or easier. But I’ve learned that everyone has their struggles, and contentment comes from appreciating what you have rather than longing for what others do.

26. Eat that cake without feeling guilty

Life’s too short to deprive yourself of the simple pleasures. I used to stress about indulging in treats, but now I occasionally savor them without guilt. It’s about balance—enjoying the sweet things in life without letting them control you.

27. Always be eager to learn

I enrolled myself in a Fashion Diploma course after completing my Masters in Business Administration. I have learned at least 10 new skills in the past 10 years and it has paid off financially. Curiosity keeps life interesting. Whether it’s picking up a new skill, exploring a new idea, or diving into a good book, the thirst for knowledge keeps me growing and evolving.

28. Be a listener in a world that can’t stop talking

In a world that never stops talking, I've come to realize the value of simply listening. Most people just want to be heard. I used to be so focused on crafting my response that I often missed truly understanding what the other person was saying. Now, I strive to be fully present, absorbing every word in a conversation.

29. Accept people as they are

I’m not telling you to be tolerant of abusive behavior but in most situations, we focus too hard on changing people so much, that we forget to appreciate the good in them—what makes them unique to us. Once I realized the truth that everyone is inherently different and people are not projects to be fixed, I stopped trying to turn them into another version of me.

30. The present moment is where life unfolds

I’ve spent years chasing after the future or reminiscing the past, only to realize that life is happening right here, right now. The present moment is where all the magic unfolds, and by being fully present, I experience life in its fullest, richest form.

31. We’re slowly dying every day

Let’s face it—Our life is hanging by a loose thread and we never know when the thread might snap, sending us back into the oblivion we came from. Embracing our limited time here has shifted my perspective toward a lot of things. Accepting death as an inseparable part of life helps me be more alive.

32. It’s all part of our Karmic cycle

We’re souls who wear different bodies like clothes, in different timelines and situations. We carry fragments of those lives as karma which dictate a lot of things in our present life. But that doesn’t take away our free will—to build good karma by doing good deeds. You can choose to be free from the karmic cycle by detachment from the worldly life. I know I’m not ready for that yet so I’m just going to focus on enhancing my present karma.

33. Meditation can change your life

Meditation has helped me deal with my overthinking brain, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, and negative emotions. I cannot emphasize enough how it has changed my life in every way. Meditation is not always about emptying the mind; sometimes, it’s about finding a quiet place within yourself where you can hear your own thoughts with clarity.

34. We’re all connected

Every one of us is connected. We’re all part of one big family on Earth whether we like it or not. I’ve realized that our actions impact others, even in ways we might not immediately see. Recognizing our interconnectedness has made me more mindful and compassionate, knowing that what I do or say matters, not just to me but to the world around me.

Phew... That was a long list! Thank goodness I’m not writing this at 50…Lol.

Thank you so much for reading this till the end. If you found some value in this post, do share it with others.