Why Are We Praying to the Dead Right Now?

Decoding ancestral worship in India and why it actually matters to you

As I write this newsletter, most Hindus observe the tradition of Pitru Paksha for 15 days from September 18th to October 2^nd, dedicated to ancestral worship.

During this time, it’s believed that the spirits of our ancestors come closer to our physical world, making it easier for us to connect with them. We perform various rituals—offering food to the poor, feeding animals, honoring priests, and praying to our ancestors to free ourselves from their karmic debt.

We inherit from our ancestors gifts so often taken for granted… Each of us contains within, this inheritance of soul. We are links between the ages, containing past and present expectations, sacred memories and future promise.– Edward Sellner

As a child, I remember watching my mother prepare elaborate meals during Pitru Paksha. I didn’t understand much of its significance, but I was just happy that I got to eat this delicious feast that included puri, chhole, halwa, and more!

However, I wasn’t allowed to touch the food until she offered some to the priests at the nearby temple and a few small portions to cows, crows, and dogs. I remember asking her, “Ma, why are you feeding the crows? They’re so ugly!” She quickly shushed me but then explained calmly, “Beta, that food indirectly goes to our ancestors.”

My curious little mind couldn’t understand how crows would transfer the food to our ancestors, so I pressed further. “But how?”

She looked at 11-year-old me thoughtfully and gave the best answer she could at the time: “You see, crows can fly anywhere. They take the food I offer and deliver it to our ancestors.”

“That’s so cool!” I exclaimed and jumped from my seat as she placed another puri on my plate, probably to stop me from asking any more annoying questions.

It wasn’t until two decades later that I realized why we feed certain animals, like dogs and cows—because they’re regarded as beings of higher consciousness and emotional intelligence. This is why dogs are the most popular house animals, right, and also why cows are considered sacred in India. As for crows, according to Indian folklore and other traditions around the world, they’re believed to transcend time and space, moving between realms and serving as a bridge between us and our ancestors in the spirit realm.

Overall, these acts can help to generate good karma. The rituals of offering food or flowers aren’t merely symbolic—they help us energetically connect with our ancestors while cultivating positive karma in life.

---

For most of my life, I didn’t fully grasp the deeper meaning behind these rituals. Why were we praying to people who didn’t exist anymore—at least in the physical sense? Only when I started diving deeper into spirituality and understanding my religion, that it begin to make sense.

In Hinduism, there’s a popular belief that we’re all souls on a journey, caught in a cycle of birth and rebirth until we achieve moksha—salvation, or becoming one with the universe, God, or whatever you wish to call it. Those who haven’t achieved salvation yet reside in the Pitra Lok—essentially the spirit realm. Some even become our spirit guides or angels. The karma they accumulated during their lifetime influences the generations that follow, meaning we also inherit their karmic debts.

This means that if your grandpa was generous, kind, and donated to charity, you might enjoy the fruits of his good karma. But if he was a cranky old man who mistreated your grandma and his children, well, you’re not totally doomed—but you might have a little bad karma to deal with. (Kidding…mostly.)

If I look at it more logically, karmic debt closely aligns with the concept of generational trauma. Karmic debt is believed to be imprinted in our soul’s DNA, and research in epigenetics suggests that trauma can be passed down through generations. This implies that if your ancestors experienced certain traumas, those experiences could influence your behaviors and patterns in life as well.

Pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it. – Stephi Wagner

While Pitru Paksha is traditionally a time when Hindus perform rituals to release both their ancestors and themselves from karmic debts, I also use this period to work on freeing myself from generational trauma. It’s an opportunity for deep self-reflection and meditation, where I can identify negative patterns in my life and consciously work toward letting them go.

Interestingly, ancestral worship isn’t unique to Hinduism. Many cultures across the world, such as China, Thailand, Korea, Mexico, and even some Scandinavian countries, have their own traditions of honoring the dead. It’s fascinating to note that Halloween originally started as a way to celebrate ancestors before it became popular as the night for costumes and parties.

How Does This Make Sense in a Modern Spiritual Context?

Thanks to the global wave of spirituality, discussions about energy, consciousness, and vibrations are no longer dismissed as mere "woo-woo."

This collective desire for meaning and a deeper understanding of the human experience is leading more people to perceive our existence beyond the physical realm, encouraging us to view everything as energy.

When we begin to see everyone as energetic beings, the concept of death becomes just as much of an illusion as life. We don’t truly “die”—we simply leave our physical bodies and return to our true nature, just like our ancestors have.

Our ancestors become those energetic beings, existing in a higher realm, watching over us and guiding us—if we ask them to. According to universal laws and many psychics, they can’t interfere in our lives unless we actively seek their help. If I talk about myself, I like to connect with my spirit guides frequently, whether it’s to ask for guidance or to stay in a higher vibrational state.

Once you embrace the idea that your lineage is energetically supporting you, even beyond the physical realm, you’ll start to navigate life with renewed confidence and courage.

What Can You Do During These 15 Days?

You don’t need to be Hindu, Korean, or from any particular background to connect with your ancestors. You don’t even have to perform elaborate rituals like those in many Hindu families.

Below are a few simple ways you can seek blessings from your ancestors:

• Share Stories: Bring out pictures of your departed family members—parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and talk about them. Share their stories with your kids, describing their personalities and how they influenced your life.

• Meditate and Connect: Try a guided meditation to connect with your spirit guides or ancestors. There are plenty of YouTube videos to help you with this.

• Break Negative Patterns: Reflect on any recurring negative patterns in your life and work on breaking them. This could be a way of releasing your ancestors’ karmic cycles as well.

• Give Back: Donate food or money to the homeless or help someone in need. This doesn’t have to be limited to these 15 days—it’s a practice that builds good karma all year round.

• Mark October 2nd: This is the most significant day of Pitru Paksha for connecting with your ancestors. Take time to meditate, raise a toast to your departed loved ones, and pray for their karmic release.

• Make it a regular practice: Ancestral worship isn’t limited to these 15 days. You can pray to your ancestors or spirit guides whenever you feel lost, uncertain, or in need of guidance. It’s an excellent time to seek their help, especially when you’re going through difficult phases in life.

You do not have to continue the patterns of your ancestors. You are the beginning of a new future. – Thich Nhat Hanh

In a nutshell, the time of Pitru Paksha is a profound reminder of our interconnectedness with those who came before us and allows us to honor their legacies while also freeing ourselves from inherited patterns and karmic debts. Through simple rituals, storytelling, and acts of kindness, we can create meaningful connections with our ancestors and create a better life for us.

As we navigate the complexities of our modern lives, let us embrace the understanding that our lineage supports us beyond the physical realm, guiding us toward a more compassionate and conscious existence. It’s also our responsibility to be better, more conscious humans so we do not pass down our negative patterns to our kids and the next generations.

Here’s a wonderful meditation I found for connecting with spirit guides: Don’t worry if you can’t instantly see or connect with your guides. It takes time and practice. Regardless, this meditation is great to calm your nerves and create space in your heart for support and guidance to enter, even when you can’t see it directly.

I recently did a podcast with Teri Leigh where I got a live reading of my Chakras and Auras from her. As an introvert, I didn’t think I would do a video podcast but thanks to her for gently nudging me to do this. It was an almost cathartic experience for me to talk about stuff that I often don’t talk about in public. Teri is amazing at what she does, and her insights helped me a lot in addressing certain issues I’ve been brushing under the carpet for too long.

Here are some of the essays I have enjoyed reading this week:

1. Healing Damaged Humans: One Heart at a Time by Colin Durrant

2. From Concerts to Commuting: How Mindfulness Can Improve Your Daily Life by JFT Beach

3. This Little Light of Mine by Alicia Renee Beck

4. Saying Hello to a Stranger Can Make You Happy by Don Boivin

5. the invisible life of an arab girl by Amal Kiswani

6. Lessons from Nature on Slowing Down and Letting Go by Sophie S.

7. Zen Toast and the Encouragement Stick by Meditation Monkey

8. Overcoming Childhood Abuse and Tiger Parenting by Haridas’s Substack

9. Reclaim your aliveness or die on the inside by Issa A.

10. Whole Universe Ripples by Black Bees

Thank you for reading this till the end.

Love,

Sonaa